Perfection...

I have been thinking a lot about perfection....

It is something that so many people strive for and something that I admit to strive for in some areas of my life. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that this is a bad thing but taken to the extreme it can make a negative impact in your life as well as those around you. Here are my thoughts...

I found myself the other evening worrying about the cleanliness of my house (I don't have a maid) and the laundry that I still needed to do in order to "keep up" with my self-imposed expectations of myself. When my house is a mess and I feel overwhelmed after coming home from work and feeding and bathing the girls and wondering if my house will ever be as clean as I really want, I can get a little cranky. :-) My strive for perfection takes it's toll on my girls and my family. I know that the girls don't care if the laundry is folded and Brian doesn't get upset if the floors are not swept every other day and I hope that my friends wouldn't compare their house to mine if they stopped by and found the counter cluttered with mail I have yet to go through. No one is perfect! (I know that I have said this before but it does us all some good to hear it again, including me!)

In today's world a women has so many roles and with many it is a race to see who can juggle these roles perfectly while attaining the best husband, house, career, children. My heart is torn for those I see striving for this unattainable goal whether they realize it or not and for what I can see in my own life as being too goal-driven. And I admit that it is easy to get caught up in striving for perfection. But no life is perfect and the sooner we all realize this, the more fulfilled we will be. How can we give those around us our ALL when we are so focused on so many "balls in the air." It can be too much and can effect our family as well as our friends even when we think we have it all under control...do we really??

You can spend a lifetime, and, if you're honest with yourself, never once was your work perfect. ~Charlton Heston

I came upon this and I agree. It helps me to realize again that it is not about perfections of our "works" but more about the relationships with others and with God and when we can admit our faults and let others see that we are not perfect, it can bring new meaning into these relationships.

Perfection....now all I have to do is let go, will you?.....

A New Look

I love expressing myself on this blog. It has become something that I look forward to....

I have found that there are a lot of people I know who enjoy this same wonderful way of communicating. And while perusing some of my favorite blog sites, I noticed that one these favorites recieved a "face lift" in the form of an amazing blog design....I clicked on the link to the blog designer jillyblogdesigns.blogspot.com and found a young mom who is using her creativity in a very FUN way. I entered her contest for a free blog design, hoping but never thinking that I would win.

Well......as you can see.....I DID! Thank you, Jill for making my new look suit me to a "T." It is PERFECT!

Pillow Fight!

One minute sweet and innocent.....

The next, all choas begins.....

...watch out, PILLOW FIGHT!

I look up and this is what I see....

(If I look up, this is what I see....two sets of precious eyes on ME!)

I recieve daily devotional emails from an organization, that my sister-in-law told me about, called Proverbs 31 Minitries. While I am not always "current" on reading them, they always speak to me. I read one today that stirred my heart and I wanted to share it with you.

(If I look up, this is what I see....the way my husband looks at me as if we were still newlyweds.)

"Everyday God is there. Everyday we have an opportunity to notice and acknowledge, and see and rejoice. Even when the world is crazy around me, I can still make the choice to see God." When I read this part of the devotion, I knew that this is what my heart needed to hear. I have the CHOICE to notice and acknowledge who God is in my life and all the many ways He is present. If I look down, I see all the negative things in my life, like being frustrated with keeping up with the house and with work, tantrums, feeling overwhelmed with my many "labels". I admit that I have been looking "down" the last few weeks and focusing on the bad. But is it really all THAT bad? The answer is no!

(If I look up, this is what I see....a life FILLED with God's never ending provision and protection for me and my family.)

Yes, life can be hard, frustrating and discouraging but it is most of the time filled with amazing ups and subtle constants that never fade. "Who will notice Me in all of this today? Who will stop for just a moment and see Me? Who will let their soul linger ever so slightly and simply utter an acknowledgement of Me?" I wonder how often I miss these opportunities to look beyond myself and experience God's gifts...There is something everyday that I can acknowledge as being from God and I need to do that. I need to look UP!

(AS I look up, this is what I see....a FEW piles of laundry that I should have done on Sunday but I also see the laughter that kept me from those piles! The goofy picture above is my proof.)

The power of a new tooth.

Last night, we were having dinner and I noticed Maddie had a funny expression on her face. She said, "Oh, this hurts, I think I have some chicken stuck in my tooth." She walks over to my side of the table, opens her mouth and shows me. To my surprise I see a new molar popping up on the left side of her mouth. "Maddie! It is a new tooth" I told her laughing. You would have thought that she just won a lifetime supply of CANDY....her face lit up and her smile illuminated the room. She was so excited. She walked back to her seat with her shoulders back and standing tall. The words that I had just said transformed her into this REALLY big girl!

After dinner, I had her sit up on the counter so I could really take a good look at this new tooth. I looked at it again, said "Wow!" and gave her a big hug and then set her down as she exclaimed, "You are kidding me! I am so excited...I think that I am going to CRY!" She buried her head in her hands for a moment and then looked up with her watery eyes and then ran to go take a bath with a definite skip in her step.

How fun to see her have this kind of excitement over something that I would normally take for granted! I sometimes wish that I could see the world and experiences through the eyes of a child. It is much more exciting and perfect. She has the sweet innocence and the simple ability to make something so small make a world of difference in her night and ultimately make a world of difference in mine. Ah, the power of a new tooth!

These are a few of my favorite things!

I have noticed lately, that there are some things in my life that really make me smile. Little things....that melt my heart and lift my spirits. They make me think that they are God's little ways of letting me know that He is near. These are a few of my favorite things.......

Lately, in the mornings, Ally has been getting up earlier and coming downstairs. It is funny how I always wake up to hear her feet "padding" down the hallway BEFORE she makes it into our room. It is like our hearts are listening to one another and are perfectly in tune. This has become one of my favorite parts of the day and for those of you who really know me, you know I am not a morning person. So for this to be one of my favorite times of the day is amazing. She comes to the side of my bed. "Can I lay with you a widdle-bit." she says sleepily. She sounds so innocent and precious and perfect, how could I say no. I pull the covers back and she climbs in, immediately snuggling into the crook of my arm as we lay on our sides. Only God could make her fit so perfectly there. We fall back asleep every time and for about thirty more minutes, I am in the most perfect place (on earth!)

The other evening as I was checking on the girls, I went into Maddie's room and she was completely flopped over in her bed. She looked really uncomfortable. I picked her up and held her in my lap and whispered "Are you o.k. Maddie?" I didn't expect a response, so when I heard a very quiet "Yes, Ma'am." I smiled. Even in her sleep she used her manners, my sweet baby. I told her that I was turning off her Christmas lights before I left which she would normally balk at but this time she said another perfect "Yes, Ma'am." I have tucked this moment away in my heart as one of my favorite things. Maddie has been really using her manners without prompting and again, only God could be involved in something like this. :-) I know that He used that surprise in the middle of the night as a way to make me notice how well she has been doing.

My incredible husband got us all golf clubs for Christmas, the girls included. It is his sweet way of making sure we spend time as a family doing something that we all enjoy. We all went this morning to hit some balls and we had the best time aside from Brian being hit in the knee with a club by Ally. Poor Ally was so upset that she had hurt her Daddy, that she was crying when he should have been crying. :-) I couldn't help but smile. Ally was crying in my arms, Brian was biting his lip to keep from crying, Maddie was studiously hitting balls oblivious to the crying, I wanted to be hitting balls instead of listening to the crying...It still makes me smile to think about it all.

After the unfortunate golfing "incident", I was watching my family as they hit balls and laughed and smiled and I knew that this was one of my favorite things....spending time with them, the laughter AND the tears. It all goes hand in hand and that is what makes it perfect. It feels good to know that God has put us here together and there is no other place that I would rather be than with them, in these perfect moments that God has created for us. These moments are engraved in my heart as a few of my favorite things.

Time Flies

Written: 11/15/07, Dallas, TX

Wow, time flies when you are having fun! I can't believe that it has been this long since I have sat down and taken a peek into my heart.

From Natalie's birthday and getting to know her, to an incredibly romantic trip to San Antonio with Brian, to event filled weekends, and planning for the girls birthdays and the Holidays, the fall months have escaped me. It all went by in the blink of an eye. This time of year always does this to me or rather I do it to myself. But it has been fun.

I can't believe how time has flown since the girls were born. Maddie will be FIVE on the 20th and Ally will be THREE in December. It seems that the older the girls get the more fun we have been having with them. There is just so much to experience with each day they grow. They are growing into themselves and it has been incredible to watch. Ally has started to out grow her tantrums although she is still my sensitive girl. And Maddie is such a big girl and the things she says are so grown up. It makes me wonder exactly when my little girls grew up......it so gradual yet so fast. Was it when Maddie started riding her bike with out training wheels? Or when Ally started to spell her name? Or when they started to really play together instead of fighting over the toys? I know I can't pin point the time but it helps me to remember all that has happened in the last year and how thankful I am to have experienced all the good AND the bad.

Written: Thanksgiving Night, Abilene, TX

I started this blog about a week ago and never found the time to finish it....and here I am now on Thanksgiving night, my blood pressure is high and I am feeling defeated, for now. Don't get me wrong, the trip to see my parents and siblings and nieces has been WONDERFUL, but my sweet Ally has been wearing me down. She has had tantrums and crying fits every day and I am tired. I am running out of options and have been waiting for her to out grow them....and I thought she had. It has been hard to think you are making progress and then to end up back where you started. Maybe it is the new environment or maybe she is just having a bad week. Whatever it is, my patience is growing thin and I am not sure what to do. Right now, I need to STOP time and just be still. I know that God doesn't give you what you cannot handle, but I am so curious as to what God has in mind for us....

Dear God,
Help me to be the mother that Ally needs, all the time. Give me the patience and wisdom to help Ally with her tantrums. You have blessed me with these incredible children, who are little parts of me and I thank You with all of my heart. Help me to know what to do next and what road to take. You are almighty and nothing is done without You. Give me peace and turn my eyes to You. Amen.

While I have been writing this, time HAS stopped, I am still and I am better....